Growing up my mom was a stickler for making sure I finished everything off of my plate before doing anything. I used to hate coming home after school because like any normal kid, I hated vegetables. But your girl got smart. I signed up for any and every possible afternoon activity so I could stay on after school. I took knitting for Heaven’s sake! This meant my lunch would consist of Simba chips (a South African potato chip brand), a sandwich and Fanta orange. Would my mother really send me to school with spinach? Of course not!
So let’s get a little serious and then we can chuckle later. I have patella tendonitis and a possible torn meniscus. I’ve been dealing this for almost a year and a half. At one point I couldn’t even straighten out my leg. I walked with a limp, and I was devastated. I have my own theory on what happened, but that’s for another day. I had to let go of running, tennis, and yoga. It’s been heartbreaking not to do sprints because I love them and my body responds well to it. I used to wish I loved jogging but I believe in getting from A to B as quick as possible! If you need another reason to be convinced why sprinting is kickass when you’re trying to tone up, look at the body of a sprinter and someone who runs long distance. They’re very different despite them training hard AF. It’s a preference. I’m not saying I let this get to my head, but this one time at band camp at the grocery store this lady came up to me and asked if I ran track. It was a complete mood booster.
After breaking my pinky toe (which may or may not have happened because I fell attempting to do handstand push ups under the influence of Henny), I took to weight training. It was the best/worst thing that could’ve happened to me because now I love weight training. I also broke the same toe again a year later by walking into a couch. Less climatic. (I’m as accident prone as the little boy in Meet The Fockers. Seriously). Let’s fast forward to a year and a half ago when I finally had to accept there was something seriously wrong with my knee. Truth is, I was lovingly bullied by people who care about me into getting it checked out and going to physical therapy. I won’t get into my amazing therapy treatment right now, but I recently got cleared for yoga a few months ago. And it’s been interesting. I love it. But let me tell you if you haven’t heard me say this before.
St Paddy’s day has come and gone! Which meant a lot green, drinking and booze. Yes, the last two mean the same thing thus proving my point on the amount of liquor people drank. What is St. Patty’s Day all about? It has to do with religion and drinking. Two things I’m interested in.
So get this, St Patty’s day is a celebration of the death of a guy named St Patrick. It also marks the commemoration of Christianity in Ireland. So on this day Catholics and Anglicans go to church. But get this, any Lenten restrictions pertaining to Food and drink are lifted! On this day! How great. Is our God. This is great for several things.
1. I gave up alcohol for Lent.
2. If you observe Lent you know we don’t eat meat on Fridays. Guess what day St Patrick’s Day falls on. You guessed it. WHOO! You is right. (OG Maco voice)
A few of my friends think I don’t eat a lot, but I promise you I do. According to my mom, I eat like a 5-year-old (portion-wise not mess-wise). I love food and I enjoy the healthy relationship I have with it. If you spend long periods of time with me you’ll realize I eat a lot of small portions several times a day. Many healthy eaters will tell you this is a great application of eating healthy. To be honest, my eating habits are mandated by my bloating and my tiny stomach.
I cook most of my meals to make sure I’m eating as healthy as possible, spending less money on food, and to make sure I don’t waste food. I used to be so wasteful. Now I make sure I create shopping lists, check my pantry, check the fridge, and plan the meals I’d like to eat for the next few days.
In honor of women’s History month, it’s my duty to share this. If you or someone you love has a vagina please pay attention because this might help a vagina.
It happens. One day you get a crime scene in your pants. White pants if mother nature is being extremely petty, (Black if Jesus takes the wheel). Sometimes those few days leading up to it are fine and sometimes you’re emotional. Double emotional if you’re a Cancer (zodiac) like me. I FEEL EVERYTHING. I eat almost everything. Bread. More bread. Fcuk gluten. It tastes so good. And then you check your cycle tracking up (p.s. if you’re not tracking your cycle I definitely recommend it). I use this. You can track how you feel, symptoms, your boo boo. We grown, energy, sexual activity etc.
Okay got off track there. Okay, so as an underage civilian you get your cycle and feel like everyone around you knows. Your mom is excited for you. For why? At the time this occurred my mother was out of the country and I was home with my grandfather. So the only thing I could find was the crunchiest thickest Always pad ever. I must’ve died a thousand deaths that Sunday afternoon. Then I figured if I lay straight it would have nowhere to go. Lol. Don’t judge me. Judge your mother. It didn’t work. For obvious reasons.
You’re basically given a box of loud ass pads to wear. All you know is that this thing is supposed to soak up everything. Whatever is in that thing is supposed to save you from embarrassment of bleeding on yourself. But mom, grandpa or whoever raised you never told you, or even knows what chemicals are inside feminine products.
Have you ever thought about it?